We’re back for the first week of a sitting fortnight. Visiting EU President, Ursula von der Leyen, gave a great speech in Parliament and so much more happened.

Here's the 5&5.

BEST

Strengthening our relationship with Europe
Backing our truck drivers
Like a bad Tinder date
Taking women’s health seriously
Mr President

WORST

Tehan’s own goal
A Tutti Frutti of right wing parties
Follow the leader
The tail that wags
3 hour sin bin

1. After eight years of negotiations, the PM signed Australia’s landmark Free Trade Agreement with the EU. It gives Australia access to a $30 trillion dollar economy, cuts tariffs, and backs Australian exporters and jobs. And in QT, Madeline King gave a special shoutout to Don Farrell “the finest trade minister this country has ever seen”. Hear, hear.

2. With the Middle East conflict driving fuel price volatility, the Albanese Labor Government has stepped up to back truckies by amending the Fair Work Act emergency applications and doubling penalties for petrol companies doing the wrong thing. In QT on Wednesday, Amanda Rishworth put it best: “This Labor government is standing up for our truckies and our road transport industry, ensuring it's reliable and viable resilient into the future.” I’ll have more to say later in the newsletter on how we got it through.

3. After giving the House a pop quiz last week, Sally Sitou makes the best again this week with a perfect analogy for that unsavoury party: “One Nation is like a bad Tinder date: they've got a photoshopped profile pic and they promise you the world, but the reality is very different. Just look at their voting record. They voted against strengthening workers' rights. They voted against making homes more affordable. They voted against funding more public schools, early childhood education and health care. And, just like any bad Tinder date, they'll stiff you with the bill at the end of the night.”

4. March is Endometriosis Awareness Month and Labor is putting women’s health front and centre. As the PM said in his statement to the House on Wednesday, women were too often told “just take a Panadol — not anymore.” Across the week there were some great speeches about Labor’s record on women’s health by Joanne Ryan, Trish Cook, Madonna Jarrett, Jo Briskey and Mike Freelander.

5. In a previous life, Anne Urquhart served as a Senator for Tasmania and on Wednesday in QT she brought a bit of the Senate to the House, referring to Speaker Milton Dick as Mr President, leaving a few of us double checking whether the room was green or red. Watch it here.

1. I mentioned earlier the House passed new measures in response to rising petrol prices. I was surprised when on Thursday morning the Opposition moved to bring forward our ACCC penalties bill. They said, this is urgent and we’ll do anything to help with fuel. We said, Great! We’ve got two bills that address this. True to form, the Coalition after a week of demanding action, then decided none of this is urgent and voted against it. The PM summed it all up best: ‘ I was asked: when will we take action? Today. This morning, we did. What's it got to do with trucking? Well, that's what the legislation was about. You asked that it be brought forward. You then voted against your own suspension of standing orders and then, when the legislation was put before the parliament, you scurried out.’

2. Unlike this Labor Government, not a single party on the other side can get serious about health. After perusing One Nation’s health policy – only four lines long, mind you – Mark Butler noted: “There's not a single reference to Medicare, not a single reference to bulk-billing, not a single reference to urgent care clinics and not a single reference to cheaper medicines, which just goes to show that it doesn't matter which flavour you pick from this potpourri, the tutti frutti of right-wing parties that is available in Australia right now, you won't hear anything about a stronger Medicare.”

3. There’s so many ‘leaders’ in the Coalition that it’s hard to keep track. Catherine King put it well during Question Time on Wednesday when she said “there are now more people with 'leader 'in their title in the Coalition than there are women sitting on the frontbench in the House. Imagine them each morning: 'leader', 'leader', 'leader', 'leader', 'leader'—hello!” All the talk of leaders led the Speaker to get a bit tongue-tied — and I don’t blame him. Watch the exchange here.

4. The Nationals used to claim they were a party of government and the champions of free trade. Now they’re opposing a landmark deal with the EU and, as the PM said on Wednesday they’ve decided to just follow Barnaby Joyce. “They’re so spooked… they’re adopting policies and just trying to be ‘One Nation lite’… He doesn’t even have to be in the room for the tail to wag the dog.” Just as the PM was pointing in the direction of Barnaby’s empty seat, you couldn’t make this up - Barnaby walked back in: “There he is!”

5. Members getting kicked out of Question time is nothing new. However, when Tony Pasin on Tuesday got given his marching orders for incessant interjections, he managed to upgrade the usual punishment and became the first member to receive the Speaker’s new mandatory 3 hour sin bin time. Every member of the chamber, government, opposition and the crossbench were happy with the outcome.

One last thing. On 21 March 2026, Australia lost a cultural trailblazer. As I told the House on Wednesday, Rhoda Roberts AO was someone who advanced our nation’s cultural identity and advocated tirelessly for First Nations arts and culture. Australians are more creative and dream bigger because of Rhoda. May she rest in peace.

We’re back again next week for a final sitting before the Parliament returns in preparation for the Budget.

‘til then,

Tony

PS. In honour of Anne Urquhart, and her promotion/demotion of Milton Dick - depending on which way you look at it - the song of the week is Dear Mr President by P!NK and the Indigo Girls.

5&5: It’s so urgent they voted to wait